i became a slut at the age of 10

Posted on June 16, 2011 in Feminism, Poetry
Tagged with: ,

i became a slut at the age of 10
it wasn’t because i wore a short skirt
or paraded around with my tits out
i barely had tits then
i was 10

it wasn’t because i had my ass crack
backing up out of some low slung jeans
with a pair of red “fuck me” heels to match
my red “fuck me” lace thong

it wasn’t because i’d slept with too many men
i hadn’t slept with any men
i was 10

it wasn’t because i drank too much
or ran with the wrong crowd
or turned up where i shouldn’t have been
or walked alone at night
on a shady street in a bad part of town
i never took candy from strangers
those “perverts” who would “hurt you”

no, i became a slut at the age of 10
because i came home from school
on a bus with a boy who,
with sadistic glee,
loved to fling his mean around
especially at me
who saw a girl
and even though i know enough now
to know he didn’t know much about sluts
he knew enough to know that “slut”
was a word he could use to hurt girls

he called me a slut
and the label stuck
for the next 23 years

this word, this sword, this dagger
it’s there to keep us scared
to keep us quiet
to keep our legs closed
and our mouths shut
because to open up
to speak up
if we have vaginas
that makes us sluts

i’m here today for my family
and the stories they never told
i’m here today for my friends
and the pain they’ve hidden for years beneath the fold
i’m here today for myself
and the times i was too afraid to say no
too afraid to go where i wanted to go
the times i’ve been groped, catcalled,
stalked, followed, harassed, coerced
and didn’t stand up
didn’t say stop
because i know
i became a slut at the age of 10
so what did i expect?

i’m here today to say i expect more
we can do better than waving away
the violence that threatens us every day
with a simple flick of our wrists
insisting it only happens to those girls
those sluts who were asking for it

it is time to put our feet down
to raise our fists, to scream, to shout
NO MORE

no more will i be quiet
will i be silent
will i cower in fear from labels
from words that tell me
i can’t wear the clothes i love
or don’t deserve pleasure
and shouldn’t move through public space
if i want to be safe

i became a slut at the age of 10
and am as much one now
as i was then